This Is What Happened To Your Furby After You Donated It
The Pink Furby:
What your Furby is up to now: After you donated your pink Furby, it spent its life trying to find you again, thinking it must’ve been some sort of mistake. Having no sense of direction, your Furby only traveled further away from you instead of closer, with only the memories of you putting it to sleep keeping it motivated. Your pink Furby’s luck almost turned around when it was picked up on the side of a dusty road in New Mexico. Unfortunately for your Furby, it was picked up by a YouTuber who microwaves random things for views. The right image is the last known picture of your pink Furby before it bursted into flames. It only wanted to find its way back to its lay-lah (home) with you…
What your Furby is up to now: After you donated your light-brown Furby, it woke up from its 8-year dead batteries slumber to graying hair and the sight of a 10-year-old girl screaming with her finger in its mouth. Unfortunately for your Furby, it was donated again almost immediately after startling its new owner. To protect its small Furby heart, your once nee-may (sweet) Furby vowed never to be owned again and lives a very cynical life with its best friend who happens to be a very sharp knife.
The Rainbow Furby:
What your Furby is up to now: After you donated your rainbow Furby, it fell into the hands of a college stoner who was thrifting for a Coachella outfit. After getting a second-hand high at a Lana Del Rey concert in Boulder, Colorado, your Furby now lives chasing the dah-noh-lah (party) while “self-medicating” in order to overcome the trauma of being abandoned at a thrift store inside a trash bag of Old Navy jeans.
The Black and Brown Furby:
What your Furby is up to now: After you donated your black and brown Furby, it was purchased as a gag gift for a local coffee shop’s work holiday party. Unfortunately for your Furby, it was won by a barista who also happened to be a self-proclaimed medium. Because of preconceived prejudices against the Furby creatures, the barista was convinced there was a succubus (a female demon that attempts to have sexual relations with people while they sleep) living inside. After an attempted exorcism, your Furby miraculously escaped a salt circle (pictured right) and got the fuck out of that crazy barista’s home. Your Furby now lives on the dirty streets of LA, hoping you’ll come back just for one more may-lah and may-tah (hug and kiss).
The White Furby:
What your Furby is up to now: After you donated your white Furby, the pain of abandonment was too powerful for its small Furby heart to handle. So much, in fact, it took out its own batteries on the shelf of thrift store next to a broken Connect 4 where you left it to rot. Years later, it awoke with new batteries in a retirement home with a renewed lease on its Furby life. It became best friends with an 80-year-old man who would wee-tee-kah-wah-tee (sing along) with it and snuggle it to sleep for the first time since you did the same thing in 1999. After one morning where the old man didn’t wake up to watch The Price Is Right, your Furby nearly took out its batteries again when it decided to turn its heartache and losses into a successful music career. It’s first single, “Someone Like Oo-Nye,” is rumored to be about its relationship with you and how you moved on with your life but your Furby never did. But never mind, it will find someone like oo-nye.
All the other Furbys:
What all the other Furbys are up to now: All the other Furbys now live in a hoarder’s home, trading stories of how they used to be may-mayed (loved) by you. Some got there from Ebay, others were thrifted… but none are as happy as they were when they were loved by you. Every day they wonder if you think about them because they only know how to think about you.